Reframing Workout Guilt: Embrace Movement That Feels Good
I’m talking to you, mama, with the little kiddos
The start of a new year often brings with it resolutions to exercise more, eat better, and generally "get back on track." While these goals are admirable, they can sometimes be accompanied by guilt—especially when it comes to missed workouts. If you’ve ever skipped a planned session and found yourself spiraling into self-criticism, it’s time to reframe the narrative.
Why Workout Guilt Happens
Workout guilt is often rooted in a culture that equates health with discipline and perfection. Social media bombards us with messages about "earning" our meals or "no excuses" mantras. While motivation has its place, these narratives can make movement feel like a punishment rather than a celebration of what our bodies can do.
The Problem with All-or-Nothing Thinking
A common trap is the belief that if we don’t complete a full workout or meet a rigid plan, we’ve failed. This all-or-nothing mindset undermines the very essence of movement—to nourish and energize us. Skipping a workout doesn’t erase your progress, and it certainly doesn’t define your commitment to health.
The Pressure to Be Everything
There is a lot of pressure to be everything all at once. There’s not enough time in the day for that, and a lot of the things that get sidelined are the ones that would make the biggest difference in how we feel. Be the perfect parent, spouse, employee, child, neighbor, friend, or volunteer, and also make sure you take care of yourself because we wouldn’t want you to be a hot mess either. That’s a whole lot of expectations society puts especially on vulva owners.
Content and Reframing Expectations
One of the biggest false narratives around is that parents, especially with young kids, are somehow so busy they don’t have time to eat but are also too “lazy” to prioritize the gym. If you are running around taking care of your family, working, and maintaining a household without a nanny, chef, business manager, gardener, or personal trainer, not wanting to go to the gym at the end of the day isn’t laziness. That’s called exhaustion.
Let’s pull back on the "should" in this—should you take care of yourself? Yes. I’m not here to tell you how to live your life, but I will say that you will be a better parent, partner, employee, family member, friend, neighbor, and human if you take care of yourself. Should you go to the gym? That depends; do you like the gym? Does it serve you at this moment in your life? Is it compatible with your current stage in life? Do you need to go to the gym, or are there other ways to move your body?
Let’s Talk About Some Reframing
We’ve explored expectations before and how they can impact our experience and health. Physical expectations are no different. The idea that all of the things you do running around all day are NOT improving your health is a false narrative. How much time during the day or week do you spend washing dishes? Vacuuming? Mopping? Cleaning the bathroom? Picking up the house? Chasing kiddos? Carrying kiddos? Walking the dog? Running laundry up and down stairs? Cleaning the kitchen? Washing the car? Mowing the yard? Raking leaves? Changing sheets? These activities are all called NEAT and contribute to your daily calorie burn and movement.
The Power of Belief: The Mindset Matters Study
Now, what is the danger in thinking all of the NEAT activity isn’t beneficial to your health? Harvard conducted research on hotel room attendants: the Mindset Matters Study. These women believed what most people believe: what they do all day is not exercise and therefore does not contribute to their health. The researchers looked at two groups. Both were informed of the Surgeon General’s health recommendations for a healthy lifestyle. The control group was not given any more information. The informed group was told the work they did met the recommendations and given examples of how their work met those recommendations. No other changes were made. After four weeks, the intervention group had lower blood pressure, decreased weight, body fat, and body mass index as well as waist-to-hip ratio. The changes were from BELIEVING the work they did was contributing to their health. Now isn’t that a kicker—mindset does matter!
What This Means for You
Just because you aren’t going to the gym doesn’t mean you are not getting movement and strength training in your routine. Does this mean that NEAT includes all of your movement needs? It depends on your life, your age, your goals, and your health status. Regardless, this mindset shift will benefit your health without changing your routine. Perhaps it will inspire you to add a little bit more just for health’s sake.
The Bottom Line
Workout guilt serves no one. By reframing your mindset, you can create a sustainable, joyful relationship with movement. This year, instead of focusing on what you "should" do, focus on what feels good for your body and mind. You’re more likely to stick with habits that bring you genuine joy—and that’s a resolution worth keeping.
