Fertility at 40: A Personal Update
Update: After I wrote this article, I had another miscarriage. It was a very stressful time with work (more than typical life stress), and that was not an ideal environment for my body to carry a pregnancy. We will update our lab work to make sure there is nothing unexpected going on. We feel confident that after my body replenishes we are in a good spot to try again next year. Thank you for all of the love and support that you have shared; it means the world to us to not carry this alone.
There is a lot of talk, chatter, and media around age and fertility, much of it negative. I’m not sure all of it is warranted but I also don’t think there is a lot of nuance involved in the discussion around trying to get pregnant later in life. I have never done anything on anyone else’s time line so it didn’t make any sense to start now.
As I write this there is a little start dust baby growing in my belly. It is so early no one would advise sharing this information especially since we have had 5 miscarriages. But that is exactly why I am sharing this information. Someone reading this article has had a miscarriage and probably suffered alone in silence with their partner or may not have even known it happened. They didn’t tell anyone because there is so much guilt and shame around miscarriages but the truth is, it’s not your fault. Our bodies are very smart and sometimes they know things that doctors and modern science haven’t caught up to yet. We took our miscarriages as a sign that something was going on and worked with a functional fertility specialist to figure out what it was. There were several things to address. Freddie’s sperm was not shaped properly. My progesterone was too low to carry a pregnancy. We spent several months working on diet, lifestyle, and supplement support. Then we set our clock to allow our sperm and eggs to grow with our changes and then tried again.
Your metabolic health and your partners matter when it comes to getting pregnant. All bodies are different and there is no one-size-fits-all fertility plan. There are so many things that can affect fertility: stress, thyroid, metabolic health, structural problems, hormonal imbalances, and sperm health. The bottom line is that fertility is a sign of your overall health and your body is not going to prioritize a baby if there is something else going on in the body requiring resources. It’s not smart or practical and your body always wants to be smart and practical with resources. Fertility is a tricky area and we truly do not have the amount of research and understanding that would be expected in 2023. There is a lot of new research and funding happening now which is very exciting and gives me lots of hope for future parents.
If you are on a fertility journey that has had some bumps, know that you are not alone! Many people experience miscarriage or other challenges getting pregnant. This is a place where functional medicine and nutrition shine because the entire body, or in this case 2 bodies, are considered part of an ecosystem coming together to create a little human. That means the health of the egg and sperm donor BOTH matter. There are a lot of ways to prepare your body for pregnancy beyond getting off birth control and starting a pre-natal. Taking the time to do a full health assessment of both partners is an important step. How is your diet? Stress levels? Sleep? Movement? Emotion wellness? Have you gotten any comprehensive lab work? All of these areas can affect your ability to get pregnant and you have the power to improve them. Pretty exciting!
Are you looking for lab interpretation and fertility Support? Let’s Chat!
