Why I Do This Work: A Letter to Women Who Feel Like Garbage

Why I Do This Work: A Letter to Women Who Feel Like Garbage

Have you ever eaten half a pie in one sitting and thought, ‘This might kill me’? I have.

That’s not exactly the finest moment in my health story, but it’s a perfect snapshot of how chaotic my life felt for years. I lived in a cycle of debilitating symptoms, unhelpful advice, and endless frustration. Doctors told me I was “fine,” but I felt anything but.

If you’ve ever been dismissed, overwhelmed, or just plain tired of feeling terrible, this is for you.

Full of Piss and Vinegar

My mom used to say I was "full of piss and vinegar." It was her way of describing my constant anger and moodiness. As a teenager, I suffered from horrible periods—debilitating cramps, mood swings off the charts, and sugar-fueled crashes that often erupted into epic shouting matches.

Birth control solved the cramps but created a new problem: depression.

The Rollercoaster of My 20s

My 20s were defined by cycles of mania and depression. I’d dive into new projects with excitement and dream big, only to be hit with depressive episodes that left me sleeping entire weekends away.

In the middle of those extremes was my baseline: extreme fatigue and feeling like grouchy, hot garbage. Antidepressants and mood stabilizers muted my emotions, but apathy replaced the chaos. It wasn’t exactly an upgrade.

A Wake-Up Call (and a Jar of Peanut Butter)

One particularly scary episode of hypoglycemia stands out. After eating an obscene amount of Boston Market (plus half a pie), I became dizzy, my legs turned to jello, and my brain felt like it was shutting down. My boyfriend panicked while I weakly whispered, “Call my mom.”

She saved me that night, but instead of seeing it as a wake-up call, I decided to carry a jar of peanut butter everywhere. In hindsight, I laugh at that “solution.” I had no idea how serious blood sugar issues were—or how they were connected to everything else.

“It’s Not Normal to Feel This Way.”

That’s what my therapist told me one day, and it stopped me in my tracks.

I’d been living with cracked, bleeding skin, brittle nails, zero sex drive, and weekly bouts of what felt like food poisoning. I thought it was just life.

When I went to my doctor and told him what my therapist said, he suggested it might be wheat or dairy. His advice? A three-day juice cleanse.

The Gluten-Free Breakthrough

The juice cleanse was terrible—raw veggie juices, hunger, grouchiness, and major sugar withdrawal. But at the end, I tested gluten and finally had my answer.

Going gluten-free in 2012 wasn’t like it is now. There were no easy swaps. My mom hadn’t taught me to cook (she wanted me to focus on my career), so I had to figure it all out. I started by recreating my favorite foods and eventually adopted a paleo approach. It solved a lot of problems, but not all.

Discovering Functional Medicine

Eventually, I found a functional medicine doctor who listened to me and validated my experience for the first time. His plan was detailed, but the biggest shift came from a book on using food to manage depression and mood disorders.

The author didn’t mention blood sugar, but her plan stabilized mine. My energy leveled out, my mood swings lessened, and I felt grounded for the first time. It also addressed inflammation, environmental exposures, and gut health.

I got off antidepressants and mood stabilizers. That was huge.

Breaking Free from Birth Control

The final piece of the puzzle was my nutrition counselor suggesting I stop taking birth control.

I’d dealt with painful sex, dryness, no libido, painful tampon use, and even an inability to orgasm. I thought sex was a chore. My OB-GYN had me try therapy, a sex therapist, and even physical therapy, but no one mentioned birth control as the root cause.

Getting off it was like going through puberty for the first time. I realized I’d lost 20 years to something that could’ve been fixed so much sooner. This is not the experience of most women, but for me, it was very real and crippling during my younger years.

Connecting the Dots

This journey took over a decade. It was isolating, exhausting, and nonlinear. At the time, there weren’t many resources. Now, there are so many that it’s overwhelming.

But I’ve learned to connect the dots in my health. Stabilizing blood sugar, ditching gluten, getting off unnecessary medications, and addressing stress through mindfulness finally freed me from feeling like a prisoner in my body.

Why I Do This Work

I don’t want other women to waste years of their lives feeling stuck in a cycle of “your lab work is fine,” antidepressants, and survival mode.

If this resonates, I want to help you rewrite your health story. You’re not broken. You’re not crazy. You’re capable of more than survival—you can thrive. Let’s work together to find your way back to vibrant health.